Peers are the most important part of our our life. But what if they turn out to be toxic and harmful. Well! we cannot eliminate peer pressure but here's how we can use it in a positive way.

Peer Pressure

“My friend has that video game, I want it too”, “I have to go to that party! All my friends are going” or maybe, “If I smoke 1 cigarette I can get along with these cool kids.” Well, does this sound relatable? How often do we give into somebody’s demands/provocations or simply try to imitate a friend just to look cool? This phenomenon of getting influenced by our peers and doing things that they are doing just to fit in is called peer pressure. It’s very natural to fall into peer pressure. There isn’t a single person who hasn’t fallen into it at some point in their lives. But did you ever think, why do we fall into this trap? The only answer to this is, we love to draw the attention of others. We want to be accepted by others. So, we do things that can instantly make us popular among these friends. But, my question is why do we need to imitate and be like somebody else? Why can’t we just admire our true selves? It’s simply because socialization helps us to develop confidence within ourselves. It increases our self-worth and gives us the confidence to establish our unique identity. When we aren’t able to socialize, we tend to lose self-confidence considering our silence to be our weakness. But that’s not true at all; socialization is a simple skill just like any other skill, so if we lack that we can just compensate it with any other skill inherent within us (singing, painting, writing, etc).

But is that the only reason? Don’t we do certain things just to look cool? Smoking with friends, following a certain fashion, playing a certain video game or maybe watch certain T.V. shows, just to look cool. Can you remember of the times when you did something just because your friends were doing it? Or maybe that particular activity is perceived to be cool by your friends and so you don’t want to look lame by denying it. Well! If that’s the case then, tell me what do you understand by looking cool and being lame? Do you consider following the mass, mindlessly, just because everyone is doing it, as something very cool and instead, deviating from the mass and being unique as lame? And just in case you wish to prove me wrong, ask these three questions to yourself, ‘What is the true meaning of looking cool? Secondly, ‘Why does a certain activity, like smoking, drinking, or maybe following a certain fashion, etc, so cool?’ and thirdly, ‘What will happen if I don’t follow the mass?’ Because, if you don’t know why you are doing a certain activity, and simply doing it because it looks cool then perhaps you are not cool as you think yourself to be.

But there is another aspect of it too. Peer pressure is not always indirect. It can also be direct. There are instances when our peers might force us into something by bullying, threatening, insulting, or shaming us or by any other means. In such situations, it is important to maintain distance from such people and being assertive enough not to come under any kind of such provocations. Learn to say ‘NO’ to such people. Just in case, if you think that disagreeing with their demands will make your life miserable, try to be assertive for once. People try to dominate others because it gives them a sense of authority. And if you give into it they get a space to force their power. But, if you can be assertive and bold enough to turn them down, they will not have the courage to stand against you ever again. So, try to be bold once and see how you can turn the game in your favour.      

Well, having said that, we should also understand, peer pressure is not always negative. It can also be positive. We are social animals, and very naturally we learn by observing others. So there is nothing wrong with getting influenced by people. But, what is important is to recognize the right kind of influence. Being able to surround ourselves with the people who motivate us and help us to grow in life is very important. This will give you sanity and inner peace in other words it will definitely give you deeper insight and provide you confidence, yes! These are the friends from whom you receive really positive vibes, they always teach you something valuable either directly or indirectly. They help you come out of your comfort zone and become the best version of yourself. So, it’s ok to fall into negative peer pressure, we all experience such things at some point in our life, but what’s important is to come out of the trap, as soon as possible and surround yourself with some real friends who make your life beautiful. So let me know in the comments how your peers influence you and how did you break out of a negative peer pressure?

~Olivia Haldar

 

GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!